Очень прошу оценить грамотно ли составлен этот топик

[Пельмень]

Although the average citizen is usually annoyed by all the advertisements printed in newspapers and magazines and the commercials broadcast on TV, the impact of the whole advertising industry on a single person is immense and plays a very important role in our lives. Advertising absorbs vast sums of money but it is useful to the community.

What are the functions of advertisements? The first one to mention is to inform. A lot of the information people have about household devices, cars, building materials, electronic equipment, cosmetics, detergents and food is largely derived from the advertisements they read. Advertisements introduce them to new products or remind them of the existing ones.

The second function is to sell. The products are shown from the best point of view and the potential buyer, on having entered the store, unconsciously chooses the advertised products. One buys this washing powder or this chewing gum, because the colorful TV commercials convince him of the best qualities of the product. Even cigarettes or sweets or alcohol are associated with the good values of human life such as joy, freedom, love and happiness, and just those associations make a person choose the advertised products.

The aim of a good advertisement is to create a consumer demand to buy the advertised product or service. Children are good example as they usually want the particular kind of chocolate or toy or chewing-gum.

Being naive they cannot evaluate objectively what is truthful and what is exaggerated and select the really good products unless they buy the goods and check for themselves.

Thirdly, since the majority of advertisements are printed in our press we pay less for newspapers and magazines, also TV in most countries in cheap.

The public advertising seen on street hoardings, railway stations and buildings makes people’s life more joyful. Moreover, all those small ads in the press concerning “employment”, “education” and “For sale and wanted” columns, help ordinary people to find a better job or a better employee, to sell or to buy their second-hand things and find services, or learn about educational facilities, social events such as, concerts, theatre plays, football matches, and to announce births, marriages and deaths. Thus despite our dissatisfaction when being bombarded by all the advertisers’ information we must admit that they do perform a useful service to society, and advertisements are an essential part of our everyday life.

[sledopyt]

Неплохо для начала, по-моему. Есть грамматические и стилистические недочеты. Пунктуация тоже хромает.

Используйте параллельные конструкции вводя различные функции рекламы. Если начали The first one (use function) и The second function, то продолжайте в том же ключе: The third function (instead of Thirdly) - тут нужно будет поменять предложение.

Here's my quick editing pass. I am sure I've missed a few.

Although the average citizen IT is usually annoyINGed TO COME ACROSS THE GLUT OF ADVERTISING by all the advertisements printed in newspapers and magazines and ON TV the commercials broadcast on TV, the impact of the whole advertising industry on aN single person INDIVIDUAL is immense, AS and ADVERTISING plays a very important role in our lives. EVEN THOUGH advertising absorbs (?) vast sums of money, but it HAS ITS PLACE IN THE is useful to the community SOCIETY(?).

What are the functions of advertisING ements? The first FUNCTION one to mention is to inform (or INFORMATIVE). A lot of the information THAT people have about household devices, cars, building materials, electronic equipment, cosmetics, detergents and food is largely derived ACQUIRED from the advertisements they read OR SEE. Advertisements introduce CONSUMERS them to new products or remind them of the existing ones.

The second function is to sell. MANUFACTURERS DISPLAY the products are shown from the MOST FAVOURABLE PERSPECTIVE best point of view and the potential buyer, on AFTER having entered the store, HAS THE unconsciously URGE/IMPULSE TO chooses the advertised products. MANY One buys this washing powder or THAT this chewing gum, because the colorful TV commercials convince THEM him of the best qualities of the product. Even cigarettes, or sweets, or alcohol are associated with SUCH the good values of human life such as joy, freedom, love and happiness, and OFTEN, just those associations make a person choose the advertised products.

The aim of a good advertisement is to create a consumer demand to buy the advertised product or service. Children IS A are good example OF A SPECIFIC TARGET GROUP FOR ADVERTISING, as they usually want A the particular kind of chocolate, or toy, or chewing gum. Being naive, they cannot evaluate JUDGE (?) objectively IF what INFORMATION is truthful OR and what is exaggerated and THEREFORE select the really good products, unless they buy THEM the goods and check for themselves.

Thirdly, since the majority of advertisements are printed in our press we pay less for newspapers and magazines, also TV in most countries in cheap. (doubtful statement, imho)

The public advertising BILLBOARDS (?) seen on street hoardings (?) , railway stations and buildings BRINGS THE ELEMENT OF JOY TO makes people’s life more joyful. Moreover, all those small CLASSIFIED ads in the NEWSPAPERS press concerning IN THE Employment, Education, For Sale and Wanted columns CAN help ordinary people to find a better jobS or a better employeeS, AS WELL AS to sell or to buy their second-hand things USED ITEMS and find services, or learn about educational PROGRAMS facilities, social events such as, concerts, theatre plays, football GAMES matches, and to announce births, marriages and deaths. Thus, despite our dissatisfaction when being bombarded by all the advertisers’ information we must admit that they do perform a useful service to society, and advertisements are an essential part of our everyday life.

[Leonine]

Ну ничего себе *quick editing pass*!!!
Я-то, честно говоря, особо много ошибок и не заметила. В целом нормально звучит (хотя у Вас, безусловно, лучше).
Следопыт, а Вы случайно не преподавали раньше?
Чувствуется рука профессионала в этом деле.
Последний параграф – там я бы bring поставила :-)

[sledopyt]

Leonine, agree with bring - недосмотрел. Нет, преподавать не довелось. А текст действительно написан сносно, я бы дал твердую четверку, да толька уж очень не по-английски местами.

[Leonine]

Насчёт "4" - согласна.
Ну уж теперь-то Пельменю только "5" светит - это точно!

[ДЕКАМЕРОН]

Спасибо, sledopyt, огромнейшее!!!