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 4uzhoj

link 18.09.2012 15:31 
Subject: OFF - Trying To Do The Job Alone gen.
Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional
information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put
"trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in
your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the
following details will be sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I
completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick
left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to
lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was
attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung
the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the
ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to insure a slow descent
of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in block number 11 of the
accident reporting form, that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to
say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down.
This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only
slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers
of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately,
by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
the ground, and the bottom broke out of the barrel. Devoid of the
weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty
pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in the accident reporting form,
block number 11.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
up. This accounted for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on
my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only
three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I
lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the
empty barrel six stories above me...I again lost my presence of
mind...and let go of the rope!

 Lonely Knight

link 18.09.2012 15:35 
)))))

 JetiX

link 18.09.2012 16:01 
веселенькая история :)) точно вымысел?

 Susan

link 18.09.2012 17:40 
Бедняга...
Конечно, вымысел. С таким талантом не в каменщики, а в песатели идут. Но все равно жалко его.

 Olinol

link 18.09.2012 17:51 
эту историю Задорнов еще лет двадцать назад (тогда я его еще посматривал:) рассказывал на своих концертах. Ему якобы некто в больнице поведал, как воровал кирпичи :) Рассказ подкреплялся тогда еще словами вроде "только наши на такую поэтическую дурь способны":)

 Aiduza

link 18.09.2012 17:54 
В общем, "старушки продолжали падать..." :)

 Val61

link 18.09.2012 20:50 

 

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