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DAFFY DEFINITIONS for yuliayulia. Read and enjoy. ACCURATE Assists a vicar
ACQUIRE Sings in a church
BIGAMY The bigger of two girls named Amy
DOGMA The mother of a dog - a bitch
ENDORSE The last horse in a race
EXACT Juggling with eggs
EXCHEQUER The one who counts the eggs
FOREIGN Use an umbrella
FOREST Sit down or lie down
HANDICRAFT A boat ready to jump into
HURRICANE A cane used to make people move faster
ILLEGAL An eagle that doesn't feel well
LABORATORY Doesn't know whether he's Labour or Tory
LIABLE Able to tell lies
MANDATE A girl agreeing to meet a man
MANICURED The doctor's ex-patient
MINIMUM A very small mother
PALLIASSE A friendly donkey
PANTRY A tree in which pans grow
SCINTILLATE After eight you should stop sinning
SELFISH What a fishmonger does
SHOESMITH Telling Smith to go away
SUPERFICIAL Like a whale
SYRUP Stop slouching in your seat
TANDEM What the sun did to sun-bathers
WINSOME And lose some - that's life
MOTHERS DAY Nine months after Fathers Day
BRASSIERE Device for making mountains out of mole hills
ADULTERYThe wrong people doing the right things
DIVORCE When two people cannot stomach each other
KISS An application at headquarters for a job at base
KISSING Sabotage before Invasion
MISTRESS Something between Mister and mattress
PROSTITUTE Busy Body
RAPE Seduction without salesmanship
TWINS Womb-mates that later become bosom pals
VIRGIN A wise crack
GRUB SCREW Sexual Intercourse during the lunch hour
PUFF ADDER A man who blows off in the bath and counts the bubbles
TAXIDERMIST A man who mounts animals
YANKEE CLIPPER An American Rabbi
VIRGIN SHEEP One that can run faster then the shepherd
ENDLESS BELT A sailor on 24 hour leave
BALL RACE Tom Cat with 20 Yds. start on the Vet
WIND JAMMER A hard turd with a knot in it
BLUNDER BUS A coach load of spinsters going to a Maternity Home
HORMONE Noise heard outside a brothel
APPREHENSION The first time you realize that you can't do it the first time
FEAR The second time you realize that you can't do it the first time
LADY One who doesn't smoke, drink or swear when it slips
PANSY One who likes his vice-versa
PRIVATE SECRETARY A good one who never misses a period
WELSH RAREBIT Cardiff Virgin
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