OFF: Software problem (for ladies only)

[10-4]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help.

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that users complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING. It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

WARNING.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck
Tech Support

[lopuh]

lol :-)) great :-)))

[Romeo]

Байан :)

[kay]

8-)))))this is absolutly hilarious! even though I am not an upgraded PC user

[galatea]

cool! Рома, для кого как - для вас баян, так не обязательно это пойнтировать. я не знала например (уж извините). Дайте места чайникам:))))))

[Romeo]

Да не воспринимайте серьезно. :) В смысле, меня. :)

[galatea]

ладно, не буду.
Я вас на фотке видела)))) на пау-вау)))

[Brains]

Бойан или нет, а я уже несколько лет ищу этот текст в оригинале. И глубокое мерси 10-4 за него. Сколько здесь сокрыто глубокомудрых наблюдений нас человеческой сущностью! ;-)))

[Romeo]

2 galatea: я вас тоже. :))) (можно на ты?)

[Franky]

Да, "смешно" будет выглядеть мой пост в глазах вновь прибывших.
Disclaimer: к сути дела, обсуждаемой на данной ветке, мое высказывание отношения не имеет; сам поржал в очередной раз над шуткой.

[Tarion]

Ой, а этот шедевр есть на русском?
А то самой переводить - профессиональная лень замучает :).
10-4, спасибо, отличная байка :).

[mahavishnu]

2 Romeo: Вот из-за Вас не могу предложить очень смешной анекдот, который в прошлом веке знали только восемь человек, и один из них - я. Сразу прилепите это непонятное слово и отобьёте охоту делиться радостью.

[Снежная Ондатра]

Да ладно вам, это просто у Ромео на прикроватной тумбочке стоит баян, и Ромео так его любит, что каждый раз, когда его видит, радостно восклицает его имя. (Идет ли к нему баян, вопрос другой....) :)

[Brains]

2 Tarion

Ой, а этот шедевр есть на русском?

Естественно, причём в массе вариантов разной степени плохости.. Вот первый попавшийся, а дальше можете их нагуглить самостоятельно, сколько надо:
http://www.kosha.saits.lv/PAGES/humour_prog_family3.htm

[Supa Traslata]

Kay,
"I am not an upgraded PC user"
Ну зачем отвечать по-английски!?

[аmbеr]

А вот и другая версия :)))))

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and PremierLeague 7.2. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Signed:

Desperate Wife

(keep reading)

- - - - -Reply Separator- - - - -

Dear Desperate Wife,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause damage, with Husband 1.0 defaulting to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files.

Be especially cautious about the HotChik virus – it’s programmed to corrupt Husband 1.0 utterly (as well as all future Husband upgrades).

DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1.

Good Luck,

Tech Support