OFF: Japenglish, Korenglish, and So-On-(En)glish (Franglais is also welcome)

[risu]

если подобной ветки еще не было — то вот момент ее создать! )))
постоянно натыкаюсь на вывески на "английском", которые создаются не носителями. где-то было отмечено, что для каждого народа характерны определенные ляпы при переводе. и мне кажется интересным их выявлять ))

[e.g.] у японцев нет разделения сонорных /л/ и /р/, и они произносят один звук, который все же ближе к нашему /р/. поэтому при изучении иностранного им поначалу (а то и вовек) трудно на слух различить lamp и ramp, лот и рот и т.п. и конечно орфография по этой же причине прихрамывает.

a в итоге получается вот такое (детям до 16 меню не показывать!):
http://www.albertkok.nl/galleries/japenglish/photos/photo_12.html

[risu]

Chenglish

[risu]

Japenglish

[risu]

Chenglish

[risu]

а это — хит от переводчика! (Китай)

[George1]

Здорово!

Please take yourself for anything you like - загадочно :-)
Please get a punch at window No. 2 - просто смешно :-))
Flesh juice - в меню жутко смотрится :-)))

[risu]

Japenglish *уже [||||], но мой ;)*

Tokyo hotel:
It is forbidden to steal hotel towels. If you are not a person to do such a thing, please not read this notice.

Tokyo car rental firm:
When passenger with heavy foot is in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.

Japanese hotel #1:
Cold and Heat: If you want to condition your room, please control yourself.

Japanese hotel #2:
You are invited to take advantage of the women who are employed to clean rooms.

© Funny translations collected by Air France employees

[risu]

Acapulco hotel:
We are pleased to announce that the manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Athens hotel:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.

Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Copenhagen airline:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

German camping site:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

Greece tailor shop:
Order your summer suits early. Because of the big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Moscow hotel:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Moscow hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Norwegian lounge:
Ladies requested not to have children in the bar.

Paris dress shop:
Elegant dresses designed for street walking.

Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk. If you lose them in your room, we are not responsible.

Rome laundry:
Ladies, please leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

© Funny translations collected by Air France employees

[risu]

http://www.engrish.com/

© Ulysses (today)

[risu]

Mentality (not mine).

Since arriving in Japan I have discovered the joys of suffering a language barrier and have been studying Japanese in an effort to fix this. Progress is slow, particulary as Japanese people think it is rude to correct mistakes.
So, without further ado, a translation from JapEnglish:

'Time Management' :
In any other country this would mean managing your time so that you get all your work done as quickly and efficiently as possible. In Japan, Time Management is the ability to look busy for 14 hours when you have actually only completed 2 hours of work. I have coworkers who teach Kindergarten and they are at school from 7 in the morning until 8 at night. What could a kindergarten teacher possibly be doing for 13 hours? Good question.

'Yes':
In Japan, yes is often used to mean no and to mean yes. Confused? You should be. Saying NO here is a very strong statement to make, so probably, no matter what you ask someone, they will say yes. Zen's advice to ask the girl to marry me thus backfired in a horrible way. I am now engaged to three women.

'Video Store Children's Section':
One might think that this implies that Chilren's movies are in that section. One would be right. Also located in that section is hardcore Japanese pr0n complete with graphic .. well... I don't want the post deleted. Put it this way, I walked over to see if they had any anime with easy Japanese (I like to study from movies - auditory learner and all). After I passed Sailor Moon I found 'Full Moon Part 9'. I learned a lot about Japanese women from that one.

'What do you think?':
If your supervisor asks this question is means: You agree with me and will now state that you do.
If your subordinate asks this question it means: COMMAND ME OH WISE ONE, I SHALL BLOW UP PEARL HARBOR FOR YOU.

'Do you want to watch a video':
If you (single, married or otherwise) ask a woman if she wants to watch a video sometime, it means 'Would you like to come over and have sex with me.'
This mistake can be fun to make.

[Madjesty]

я япона не знай, но читаль, что есть у них слово сиутогару, производное от sweet girl (наверно, это профессия) :)
+ moba - modern boy
и moga - соответственно модная герла
Правда? :)

[risu]

суитогару - sweet girl в чистом виде (подогнано под фонетику языка)

а вот moba и moga никогда не слышала, чтоб употребляли.
однозначно ответить сама не смогу, потому спрошу кого из друзей-знакомых.

[densch]

Много приколов в Турции, когда они пытаются писать по русски.
В меню - "Чикен кебап на плоках".
В номере - "Если хотите убрать комнату, сообщите сами".
В городе - обувной магазин с загадочным названием "Чуфля".

[tats]

This exchange between an English-speaking traveler and a member of the hotel staff in a Far East hotel was recorded in the Far-East Economic Review.
Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees.

Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.

Room Service: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?

Hotel Guest: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.

Room Service: Ow July den?

Hotel Guest: What?

Room Service: Aches. Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch...?

Hotel Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.

Room Service: Ow July dee baycome? Crease?

Hotel Guest: Crisp will be fine.

Room Service: Hokay. An Santos?

Hotel Guest: What?

Room Service: Santos. July Santos?

Hotel Guest: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.

Room Service: No. Judo one toes?

Hotel Guest: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo one toes" means. I'm sorry.

Room Service: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping we bother?

Hotel Guest: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.

Room Service: We bother?

Hotel Guest: No. Just put the bother on the side.

Room Service: Wad?

Hotel Guest: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

Room Service: Copy?

Hotel Guest: I feel terrible about this but...

Room Service: Copy. Copy, tea, mill...

Hotel Guest: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.

Room Service: One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease baycome, tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?

Hotel Guest: Whatever you say.

Room Service: Hokay. Tendjewberrymud.

Hotel Guest: You're welcome.

[risu]

"чуфля!"

здорово!

[risu]

2tats:

[tats]

Вот вы тут над японцами смеетесь, а вот что мне лет восемь назад написал житель США (по его заявлению):
Hi

My name Sergio I'm from Los Angeles,CA. I'm interesting to
communicated anybody in the United
States and the around the world I'm instresting to be a friend or pen
pal with you. Well I hipe you will
communicated me and I hope you will be friend or penpal I hope to
hear for you.

Take Care,
Sergio=)

[risu]

подборочка с комментариями )
http://www.yaponist.com/OLD/engrish/engrish.htm

[Natasha_777]

Да, эта ветка почище лингвоанекдотов жжет :) Валяюсь пацстолом.

[risu]

tats,
сдается мне, что житель США, который Вам писал только недавно переехал на родину монтесумы.
и предположительно он с латино-американскими корнями ))

[risu]

Natasha_777,
glad you like it.
the world is a funny place, isn't it?

[Natasha_777]

risu, мне смешно оттого, что такие перлы выдаются совершенно искренне :), особенно если представить, например, вечно улыбающееся лицо японца. А анекдоты про сисадминов (к слову) мне лично кажутся дурным вкусом (no offence meant).

[Nina79]

this is just what i needed to have a good end to the day. thank you!

[Susan]

Да уж наверное искренне... Иначе как можно нарядить невинного ребенка в кофту с надписью "I'm cock" ?

[Coleen Bon]

А как вам футболочка с надписью Smokers are butt suckers?! Моя недальновидная подружка в ЭТОМ поехала в Англию, пуэ гел..

risu, потрясно! Это бы ко мне на веточку, мрр?

[Madjesty]

По поводу Турции:
Говорят, тамошний народ, говорящий таки на турэнглиш :), не хочет признавать концептуальных звуков, передаваемых буквосочетанием th, заменяя его на t.
вот берем слово month и произносим его не турецкий манер: "мант".

[risu]

most people make mistakes, butt not me!

Coleen,
не думаю, что с веткой промахнулась.
потому что здесь хотелось бы собрать материал о типичных ошибках разных народов, а не об изменении языка. ведь все они уверены в том, что говорят на правильном английском, а кому-то нужно стоять рядом — и их и понимать, и переводить )))