офф Headlines of the year

[black_velvet]

(В скобках комментарии автора, который собрал перлы)

THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006: Most of the year's gone by,
but they are pretty neat, so...enjoy:

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
(No, really?)

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
(Now that's taking things a bit far)

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
(What a guy!)

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
(Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos)

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
(See if that works any better than a fair trial)

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
(I can see where it might have that effect)

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE
(You think?)

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
(Who would have thought!)

ENFIELD (LONDON) COUPLE SLAIN;
POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
(They may be on to something!)

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES
(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: FACES BATTERY CHARGE
(He probably IS the battery charge)

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
(Weren't they fat enough?)

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
(That's what he gets for eating those beans)

KIDS MAKE NUTRICIOUS SNACKS
(Taste like chicken?)

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
(Chainsaw Massacre all over again)

HOSPITAL ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS
(Boy, are they tall)

And the winner is....

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
(Did I read that sign right?)

[Dimking]

LOL, tenks.

[Irisha]

Спасибо, до слез. Два раза, правда, ударилась лбом о стол, но все равно спасибо.

Искала ветку с переводческими перлами, хотела запостить кое-что, но теперь не буду: после такого не покатит.
:-)

[Irisha]

А вот это запощу (продолжение поста black_velvet; некоторые заголовки повторяются, но комменты другие)

- Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
(not in a prison?)

- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
(pretty severe anatomical problem)

- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
(No accounting for tastes!)

- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
(Hope the vet's partner doesn't mind.)

- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
(Trees make very good detectives)

- Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
(well there never was much truth, was there?)

- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
(not physically, we hope)

- New hope for the dead!
(All together now — “Huh?”)

Без комментариев:

- Squad helps dog bite victim

- Eye drops off shelf

- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

- Two Soviet ships collide - one dies

- Two sisters reunited after eighteen years at checkout counter

- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
(around Uranus воспринять на слух)

- Do you want a woman vicar?

- Blow for musicians union

- Star's broken leg hits box office

- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

- Collegians are Turning to Vegetables

- Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

- Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's

- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

- Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation

- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

- British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

- Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

- Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy