Отрывок звучит по-английски? Заранее спасибо.

[Nastique]

Контекст: Отрывок из статьи, целевая аудитория которой - потенциальные риэлторы в поисках программного обеспечения для автоматизации своего бизнеса. В статье описаны преимущества малого бизнеса. Другими словами, основная идея - то, что владельцы сайтов, которые посвящены недвижимости в каком-то отдельном регионе, а не по всему миру, имееют больше шансов преуспеть, чем глобальные конторы :).

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The smaller is your region the better is your interaction with customers

Can you remember yourself searching through vacation rental web sites? Was destination important to you? Or was there no difference? I can hardly imagine the traveler who searches a property for rent all over the world. For me there is a difference between Sydney and Rome and I prefer to visit the web sites, dedicated to specific regions. Why?

The answer is simple: I like the attitude to me as a traveler. Should I contact the web site owner, all of my questions (including the one about bathroom walls color in the house I want to rent) will be answered in an attentive and detailed manner. I will be informed of the banks offering the best currency exchange rates, about the restaurants with the best food, about everything, which matter for a traveler in a foreign country.

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Заранее спасибо! Буду благодарна за любой комментарий, замечание, совет.

[PERPETRATOR™]

1.The smaller is your region the better is your interaction with customers - is убираем в обоих случаях
2. vacation rental web sites - что это (может, конечно, я чего не знаю)?
3. who searches a property for rent all over the world - что-то не очень. to search a property - это "обыскивать участок"...
И т.д.

Лучше бы вам дать текст на русском... Очень много можно было бы поправок внести...

[SirReal]

Не звучит это по-английски.
Перевод - дело такое... Лучше нанять профессионала.

[Nina79]

TO BEGIN

The smaller your region, the better your interaction with customers

Do you remember all those times you searched vacation rental web sites? Was destination important to you? Or was there no difference? I can hardly imagine atraveler who searches any property at all not depending on where it is. For me, there is a big difference between Sydney and Rome and, I prefer to visit sites dedicated to specific regions. Why?

[torq]

согласна с PERPETRATOR™ - лучше бы дать русский текст

I can hardly imagine the traveler who searches - должно быть "a" перед "traveller"

[Nina79]

and maybe something a bit more like this:
The answer is simple. I like the attitude these sites have to me as a traveler. Should I contact the web site owner, all of my questions (including the one the color of the bathroom walls in the house I will be renting) will be answered with care and in detail. In addition to this, I can get information about banks offering the best exchange rates, about the restaurants with the best food, about everything a traveler would want to know before going to a foreign country.

though i have not made it perfect, you get the point

[SirReal]

Как ни переводи, получится рунглиш.

[torq]

2 SirReal
у Nina79 очень даже чудный вариант, с чего бы это Вы?

[SirReal]

ОК, это, конечно, зависит от аудитории и потребностей. Вопрос был задан: звучит ли отрывок по-английски? У Нины более-менее звучит. Но нормальный носитель написал бы по-другому. Построение предложений и общая схема текста. Но тут я предполагаю, что это реальный маркетинговый текст. Возможно, ошибаюсь.

[PERPETRATOR™]

Хм, насчет search a property снимаю свое возражение...

[Nina79]

it's not actually very good... i was in a hurry and only trying to prompt the asker

i think this would be even better:
The smaller your region, the better your customer service.

You probably remember surfing the net and looking through hundreds of vacation rental site. Was destination important to you or, did it make no difference? Personally, I can hardly imagine a traveler who searches for just some kind of property somewhere in the world. I see a difference between Sydney and Rome and prefer to use sites which are dedicated to specific regions. Why?
The answer is simple. I like the individual attention such sites give. Should I contact the site owner, all of my questions (even the one about the color of the walls in the bathroom) will be answered with care and in detail. Also, I can get information about which banks have the best exchange rate, where the best restaurants are and, well, about anything and everything a traveler wants to know about.

but even this isnt as far as it should be taken to get the English we need

[PERPETRATOR™]

Только снял возражение, Nina79 исправила. !!! Но в сети видел такие варианты...

[Nina79]

better still:

You probably remember surfing the net, looking at hundreds of vacation rental sites. Was destination important to you or, did it make no difference? Personally, I can't imagine that someone would search for just some kind of property somewhere in the world.

I see a difference between Sydney and Rome and prefer sites dedicated to specific destinations. Why? That's easy. It's because I like the individual attention I get. If I have questions all of my questions (even about the color of the walls in the bathroom) tehy will be answered with care and in detail. Plus, I can get information about which banks have the best exchange rates, where the best eats are and, well, about anything and everything a traveler wants to know about really.

[SirReal]

Вот, это уже серьезная адаптация :)

[Nastique]

Ого! Огромное спасибо за ответы. Отдельное спасибо Nina79. Я ценю Ваше время и помощь. Вы мне очень помогли.