Пожалуйста, подкорректируйте перевод

[dron1]

Всем привет. Исправьте что не так, пожалуйста:

ИХ:
К Вам обращается Закрытое акционерное общество «XXX», входящее в ОАО «YYY».
Наше предприятие создано осенью 2000 года и на настоящий момент является крупнейшим производителем посуды с антипригарным покрытием в России.
К тому же, наш завод первым в России получил лицензию на использование антипригарного покрытия ZZZ производства MMM.
Все время существования завода мы приобретали антипригарное покрытие Вашей фирмы через посредников, что влечет дополнительные расходы.
В то же время, согласно установленным на нашем предприятии корпоративным правилам, а также общей политике ZZZ, комплектующие для производства продукции должны приобретаться у непосредственных производителей.
В связи с изложенным, предлагаем Вам с 01 января 2006 года заключить контракт между ЗАО «XXX» и фирмой MMM на прямую поставку антипригарного покрытия.
Условия контракта готовы обсудить дополнительно.МОЕ:
Close Joint Stock Company «XXX», which is the part of the JSC «YYY» is addressing (addresses?) to you.
Our enterprise was established in the autumn of 2000 and presently is the largest producer of cook ware with non-stick coating in Russia.
Furthermore our plant was the first in Russia to obtain a license to use the ZZZ non-stick coating manufactured by YYY.
During the time of existing of the plant we have been buying the non-stick coating produced by/of your firm through the intermediaries, that entails(-ed?) additional expenses.
On the other hand according to the corporative rules/laws set at our enterprise, as well as to the general policy of the MMM, components for manufacture of products are to be bought from the direct producers.
In connection with the stated above, we(are?) offer(-ing?) you to conclude the non-stick coating direct supply contract of January 1, 2006 between the CJSC «XXX» and the MMM firm.
Ready to agree upon the terms of the contract additionally.
Заранее спасибо.

[D-50]

manufacturer sounds better than Producer

[dron1]

спасибо. а касательно is addressing (addresses?) to you. non-stick coating produced by/of your firm.that entails(-ed?). we(are?) offer(-ing?) you... есть идеи?

[D-50]

Все время существования завода - change this, sounds weird in Russian, maybe "during the plant operation.."

что влечет дополнительные расходы - Caused extra expenses

Furthermore our plant was the first in Russia to obtain a license - Our plant was the first licensed enterprise in Russia

components for manufacture of products - components for fabrication

we(are?) offer(-ing?) you - We request you to,.,,

на скорый взгляд. Мало времени, сорри

[dron1]

большое спасибо.

[Beforeyouaccuseme]

У Вас, ИМХО, очень много совершенно ненужных в английском тексте русских слов.

Close JSC «XXX», part of JSC «YYY» (- лучше уберите все эти адреса!!!)

Our company formed in the autumn of 2000 currently is the largest producer non-stick coating cook ware in Russia.

Our plant was the first in Russia to get a license for the ZZZ non-stick coating manufactured by YYY.

The plant buys non-stick coating produced by your company through the intermediaries, which entails additional costs.

Meanwhile, according to our corporative rules and the MMM general policy components for manufacturing the products are to be bought directly from producers.

Therefore, we propose that a non-stick coating direct supply contract be signed as from January 1, 2006 between CJSC «XXX» and MMM.

We are ready to discuss the terms and conditions of the contract.

[kath]

I would say something like this:

We are a Closed Joint Stock Company XXX, a part of Open Joint Stock Company YYY. Our company was founded in the Autumn of 2000 and at the present time it is the largest producer of non-stick cookware in Russia. Furthermore, our factory was the first in Russia to receive a license for the use of ZZZ non-stick coating produced by MMM.

During the entire time of our operations we were buying non-stick coating made by your company through a middleman, which significantly increased our costs. Meanwhile, according to our company's corporate rules and general ZZZ business policy, all production materials must be purchased directly from the producer.

In view of the above, we would like to propose an agreement whereby starting 1 January 2006 the Closed Joint Stock Company ZZZ will buy non-stick cookware coating from MMM directly.

We are happy to discuss the terms at your convenience.