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Subject: Проверьте грамматику, please gen. One of our Сlients called the Customer support in a terrible mood. She was furious because the money from her credit card were not sent to another bank to repay the loan in time, as it was agreed when she ordered 'The Service of Regular Payment'(hereinafter RP). The reason was failure of the banking software but of course she didn't care.She cried that she would never use the services of our bank, insisted on deactivating RP and closing all her accounts. I never interrupted her while she was crying because in every conflict situation it is important that the Client has an opportunity to sound off. I paraphrased her speech for her to realize that I listened to it and understood correctly. Then I apologized, thanked her for informing of the error, so we can fix it now and started the explanation in a very calm tone of why it happened. I told that every systems, cars, home appliances, furniture even the most expensive can malfunction one day. And it's not worth it to take such a serious decision only because of one bad case, as a result depriving herself such a convenient service. Then I held the presentation of the RP-service, mentioned some of the statistical facts and Сustomer feedbacks, talked about all the positive aspects of this service to distract our Client from the negative mood and defuse the situation. I also told that every Сlient is very important for our Bank and we work 24 hours for improving the level of service, because it was really so. I tried to convince this lady because if a Client has closed the account and had a bad opinion about the Bank she would have told about this negative experience to her friends, relatives, neighbors, and they would have never became our Clients. This is very bad for the reputation of the Bank and those who work there. Because of the inconvenience that the Client happened to deal with, I promised to provide her a sorry-bonus. For every person it's important to be heard, to feel the care and realize his significance. I knew this woman was not angry at me personally, she was dismayed by the situation and I did my best to comfort and over-persuade her. As a result, till the end of our conversation this lady activated seven more RPs. |
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Однако! Запросы растут... |
| Хотя мимо money ... were пройти не смог :) |
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one of our clients called customer support because money from her credit card was not transferred as agreed upon the reason for that was services provided by our bank I did not interrupt her screaming (я думаю лучше, чем crying) in a conflict situation sound off - это что такое, выговориться? лучше complain I wanted her to be sure I was listening thanked her for letting us know about the error so we could fix it right away and started explaning |
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I told her that any system..... even the most expensive ones and one bad case/occasion was not the reason for depriving herself of then I talked to her about our RP service provided her with some statistics and customer feedback talked positively about our ....to cheer her up (ну, может, это слово здесь немного фамильярно) I also told her that every client was important to our bank and we worked around the clock improving our services |
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многабукаф, ниасилил но cry и over-persuade нинада |
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гарпия, и снова премного Вам благодарна!)) screaming оно то да, но здесь что-то бы помягче подобрать может shouting? sound off - да, здесь имела ввиду выговориться, именно в значении "спустить пар" |
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I tried to keep her thinking positive about our bank since otherwise she would have shared her bad experience with xxxxxx scaring them off (away) That would have been bad for the reputation of our bank if happened |
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because of the inconvinience she had to deal with I promised to provide her with a bonus (однозначно не sorry-bonus, но не знаю как у них в таких случаях compensations называются) можно и discouraged вместо dismayed to comfort and make her change her mind by the end .... she activated ....или she was willing to activate ... which she did |
| гарпия, огромное спасибо! Вы даже не представляете, как выручаете)) Должно все быть в идеале, а сверится не с кем) |
| чтобы все было в идеале, нужен редактор -- носитель языка. поговорите с руководством о сотрудничестве с фрилансером |
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anytime :) у вас там есть, что править |
| SirReal, спасибо за совет, но мне это нужно лично для резюме: описание двух жизненных ситуаций, так что руководство здесь не при чем) А поскольку работодатель не nativespeaker, то правильной грамматики будет вполне достаточно)) |
| гарпия, согласна(( давно не практиковалась, сижу теперь краснею перед монитором... А еще два абзаца насочинять(( (facepalm) |
| ну я вот не native speaker, но правильной грамматики мне не было бы достаточно :) да и многим другим, кто тут отметился и Вам помог. но Вам, конечно, виднее. удачи с резюме и работодателем :) |
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One of our Сlients called the Customer support in a terrible mood. She was furious because the money from her credit card was not sent to another bank to repay the loan in time, as it was agreed when she ordered 'The Service of Regular Payment'(hereinafter RP). The reason was failure of the banking software but of course she didn't care. She cried that she would never use the services of our bank, insisted on deactivating RP and closing all her accounts. I never interrupted her while she was crying because in every conflict situation it is important that the Client has an opportunity to sound off. I paraphrased her speech to make sure that I heard and understood her correctly. ???Then I apologized, thanked her for informing me of the error, so now we can fix it and start the explanation in a very calm tone of why it happened. ???? I told that every system, car, home appliance, furniture even the most expensive can malfunction one day. And it's not worth making such a serious decision only because of one bad case, and depriving herself of such a convenient service. Then I made the presentation of the RP-service, mentioned some of the statistical facts and Сustomer feedbacks, talked about all the positive aspects of this service to distract our Client from the negative mood and defuse the situation. I also told that every Сlient is very important to our Bank and we work 24 hours a day for improving the level of service, because it was the truth. I tried to convince this lady because if a Client has closed the account and has a bad opinion about the Bank she would tell this negative experience to her friends, relatives, neighbors, and they would have never became our Clients. This is very bad for the reputation of the Bank and those who work there. Because of the inconvenience that the Client delt with, I promised to provide her a sorry-bonus. For every person it's important to be heard, to feel the care and realize his significance. I knew this woman was not angry at me personally, she was dismayed by the situation and I did my best to comfort and persuade her. As a result, till the end of our conversation this lady activated seven more RPs. |
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а, т.е. вы описываете how you handled the situation? типа ваш будущий работодатель оценивает ваш психологический и профессиональный profile? если так, то я бы переделала суть вашего посыла побольше того, что вас выделяет, каким объёмом информации вы владеете и как её применяете. Ну, и как результат - счастливый клиент, процветающий банк :) |
| гарпия, Вы просто умница! Всего Вам наилучшего и такой же доброты от окружающих! |
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полноте вам, Женя :) same to you! |
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link 17.07.2015 20:42 |
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многабукаф, читал по вертикали 1. с чего вдруг Client везде с большой буквы? это договор что ли 2. "One of our Сlients called the Customer support in a terrible mood." - почему Customer support был в террибл муде? надо разобраться! 3. "the RP-service" -- зачем дефис? 4. " we work 24 hours for improving " -- предлог for и -ing не айс. (варианты: on improving, to improve). 5. "I also told that ..." --- told в пустоту плохо. хорошо или "I also said that ..." или "I also told HER that ..." 6. "every Client is very important for our Bank" -- плохо for. хорошо "important TO our bank" 7. "I told that ... we work 24 hours ... because it was really so" -- времена и их сочетание не нравятся. (про грамматику вокруг этого вам кто-то другой может объяснит, мне было бы легче перефразировать.) всё имхо. |
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link 17.07.2015 20:55 |
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"As a result, till the end of our conversation this lady activated seven more RPs." 1. till неправильно, оно с совершенным видом не катит (если начинается till the end of our conversation, то логичное продолжение: this lady has been activating RP after RP) 2. "As a result," в контексте звучит несколько нескромно. lacks humbleness. вместо всего этого: "In the end, this lady activated seven more RPs." |